Saturday, December 08, 2007

all i want for christmas

i just completed this layout for this weeks challenge at the we digi dare ya blog. Came together so easily, only took about half hour, which for me, is a record. Im normally one of those people that spend hours or days on a layout before im happy. Think i really needed to get the stuff ive journalled about out - probably why it came together so easily. I dont do alot of layouts about the bad stuff in my life - i do try to journal on all of my layouts - to me thats the whole point of scrapbooking - but its not often i have the guts to do a layout when im feeling bad about something....Its my new years resolution (made a lil early i know) to journal more about the meaningful stuff in my life - not just the birthdays, bbqs and parties.

Anyway here is the layout.

For those that are partially blind like i am, heres the journalling a bit bigger :

Funny, if you'd asked me a month ago, I would have happily told you that i wantedbaby stuff for christmas. A cot, a car seat, a rocking chair, , , , all the big stuff. Now, after experiencing thepain of losing a baby, being diagnosed with a molar pregnancy,and facing months of ongoing tests to ensure i dont get cancer, all i want for christmas is my health. And happiness. I want to be the girl in the photo again. Yea sure, i smile and laugh, and still do all the same things i did when this photo was taken, but underneath it, im scared. Scared of getting sick or dying, scared of never being able to have a baby, scared of what thefuture might bring. I try to be positive, but sometimes its justso hard, especially knowing that this will be hanging over my head for at least a year. I know with time, it will get easier and eventually the fear willnot be so bad. So some strength, some happiness and a whole lotta health is all i want this year. Next year, ill ask for the baby.

Thanks to Kimberly and Darlene for letting me use their new christmas kits - Kimberly's (aka fishinmom designs) is called "snofolks" and Darlenes is called "vintage christmas". You can get em both in their DSO stores! They come highly reccomended by me!

2 comments:

Fishinmom said...

Hon - the journaling is beautiful! Thank you so much for using my kit for something so meaningful. I'm sorry you've had to go through all of this - I'm sending my thoughts and prayers that you will get your Christmas wish of health and happiness.


Huge Hugs,
Kimberly

.: Kristine :. said...

Hi Lani,

Gorgeous layout. I love those Christmas kits too! The journally made the hair on my arms rise up...it was heartfelt and lovely.

Wishing you health and happiness this Christmas!! It's the best gift of all to ask for.

{{Lani}}

xoxo
Kristine