all i want for christmas

i just completed this layout for this weeks challenge at the we digi dare ya blog. Came together so easily, only took about half hour, which for me, is a record. Im normally one of those people that spend hours or days on a layout before im happy. Think i really needed to get the stuff ive journalled about out - probably why it came together so easily. I dont do alot of layouts about the bad stuff in my life - i do try to journal on all of my layouts - to me thats the whole point of scrapbooking - but its not often i have the guts to do a layout when im feeling bad about something....Its my new years resolution (made a lil early i know) to journal more about the meaningful stuff in my life - not just the birthdays, bbqs and parties.

Anyway here is the layout.

For those that are partially blind like i am, heres the journalling a bit bigger :

Funny, if you'd asked me a month ago, I would have happily told you that i wantedbaby stuff for christmas. A cot, a car seat, a rocking chair, , , , all the big stuff. Now, after experiencing thepain of losing a baby, being diagnosed with a molar pregnancy,and facing months of ongoing tests to ensure i dont get cancer, all i want for christmas is my health. And happiness. I want to be the girl in the photo again. Yea sure, i smile and laugh, and still do all the same things i did when this photo was taken, but underneath it, im scared. Scared of getting sick or dying, scared of never being able to have a baby, scared of what thefuture might bring. I try to be positive, but sometimes its justso hard, especially knowing that this will be hanging over my head for at least a year. I know with time, it will get easier and eventually the fear willnot be so bad. So some strength, some happiness and a whole lotta health is all i want this year. Next year, ill ask for the baby.

Thanks to Kimberly and Darlene for letting me use their new christmas kits - Kimberly's (aka fishinmom designs) is called "snofolks" and Darlenes is called "vintage christmas". You can get em both in their DSO stores! They come highly reccomended by me!