man, its kind of scary how quickly things can change. I just read the previous post that i wrote a week ago, and to be honest i wish i hadnt written anything, because now i have to write THIS post. ah man, i dont think this post is going to make much sense. my head is not in the best of places today, so for that im sorry.
i went for my 12 week ultrasound on Friday. Didnt go so well. The baby died at 8 weeks. They said id had a missed miscarriage, becauase i wasnt bleeding or cramping (well i had early on, but the first ultrasound ruled out a problem with the baby, and anyway it had stopped in the last few weeks) and i still had all my pregnancy symptoms (i was still throwing up the night before the scan). So i had this perfect little fetus with no heartbeat. Kind of broke my heart to see that on the ultrasound. Having alot of trouble looking at the scans they gave me.
They got me in on the emergency list for surgery on saturday which i really appreciated as i was kind of devastated by the thought that the baby had died 4 whole weeks ago and i had no idea. Procedure went really well, no complications and i was allowed to go home on saturday night.
Were sad but were trying to take positives from it. Theres no reason that it should happen again, its just one of those things. And there wasnt anything i could have done to prevent it. None of my internal workings are damaged and theres no reason we cant start trying again right away. We fell pregnant in our first month of trying this time, so at least we know were fertile. Im going to give myself a few months break from the morning sickness, enjoy christmas and then start trying again, probably in february.